Jokes thread

The Duke of Cambridge is causing controversy in Wellington over the choice of an unsafe baby car seat.

To be fair his mother didn't even know how to put on a seatbelt.
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Following the death of Peaches Geldof, Police sources say that Poppers E's and Whiz were found in the house.

Her other sisters were out shopping.
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I've got a joke about a dead celebrity.

It's a peach.
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I could never decide whether Peaches Geldof looked more like her mum or her dad.

I guess that's settled now.
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That's one of my five a day, anyone know where Apple Martin lives?
 
Perhaps Peaches Geldof would have had a longer shelf life if Bob and Paula had named her Pickles.
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I think it's about time those Africans did a benefit concert in aid of Bob Geldof.
 
Poor planning, or clever PR spin?

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As an airplane is about to crash, a female passenger jumps up frantically and announces, "If I'm going to die, I want to die feeling like a woman."

She removes all her clothing and asks, "Is there someone on this plane who is man enough to make me feel like a woman?"

A man stands up, removes his shirt and says, "Here, iron this!"

K0rN_b4LL said:
Poor planning, or clever PR spin?

View attachment 39368
Click to expand...
Wow lol
 
Whenever I see a woman get pregnant women all around her always rub her belly and say "Congratulations!"

How come they never rub the guy's dick and say "Good Job"?
 
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