Infidelity, I lose!!!
- Thread starter seneca_22
- Start date
Hot Rod Dave
"Saucy saucy minx"
Damn....I thought I was the oldest fart on this site. Guess I gotta say that Im ONE OF the oldest....lol!!
Now I dont know how this "other guy is" but I will bet money that he prayed on her lonliness and got what he wanted. I will tell you this with extreme certainty...that is a relationship that will not last. After me and my 1st wife split, One of my own friends, the DJ at the wedding, the guy I used to go drag racin with in high school, the guy that got his ass beat by a girl in 7th grade (trying to show how long I knew the guy) moved in on my wife. I was pissed. The very next week after we split, I seen his truck at the top of the hill when I would drop of my son. This ignited a fuckin fire in me that was very hard to control. But I did. I dont know how but I did.
My sons mom ends up marrying the guy. Being that I knew how she was and knew how he was, I wasnt all that suprised to find out that marriage only lasted 2 years. After that she tried to hint her way back into my life, But I had already met someone. Shes been single and miserable ever since...ahhh sweet revenge. But I dont rub it in her face or nothing.
The outings with the kids and her.....hmmmm....I dont know if thats the best thing. Regardless of what you say, you still love her. And if she came back into your arms and begged for you to come back....I dont think you would give her an immediate NO. Therefore, she is more or less dragging your heart into the mud. Im not gonna sit here and tell you what to do with your life...casue well...its your life. But I would try to keep that shit to a minimum until all is healed in your heart. Take the kids out with just yourself. Its a real battle for them to try to get used to mom and dad not being together. Maybe you do those things with her to try and ease the kids into that state of mond. In which case thats not a horrible thing i guess. But for me, that would be emotinally tough.
AmillionHP hit it on the head though, the negativity and hate that you brew within yourself, WILL EVENTUALLY COME OUT in one way shape or form. be very careful with that. Find a release of some kind. Grab a controller and beat the shit out of some scrub and laugh while you do it. It is very important that you don talk bad bout mamma in front of the kids, to make sure they still give her the respect of being mom. You said she was a great mom to the kids, make sure that still happens. There is one thing that I figured out that I was sure to tell the new guy when I got the chance. You must use a stern voice while doing it "You fuckin better keep mamma happy, cause keeping her happy, keeps MY KIDS happy. and if that doesnt happen, you have me to answer to!"
HRD
Now I dont know how this "other guy is" but I will bet money that he prayed on her lonliness and got what he wanted. I will tell you this with extreme certainty...that is a relationship that will not last. After me and my 1st wife split, One of my own friends, the DJ at the wedding, the guy I used to go drag racin with in high school, the guy that got his ass beat by a girl in 7th grade (trying to show how long I knew the guy) moved in on my wife. I was pissed. The very next week after we split, I seen his truck at the top of the hill when I would drop of my son. This ignited a fuckin fire in me that was very hard to control. But I did. I dont know how but I did.
My sons mom ends up marrying the guy. Being that I knew how she was and knew how he was, I wasnt all that suprised to find out that marriage only lasted 2 years. After that she tried to hint her way back into my life, But I had already met someone. Shes been single and miserable ever since...ahhh sweet revenge. But I dont rub it in her face or nothing.
The outings with the kids and her.....hmmmm....I dont know if thats the best thing. Regardless of what you say, you still love her. And if she came back into your arms and begged for you to come back....I dont think you would give her an immediate NO. Therefore, she is more or less dragging your heart into the mud. Im not gonna sit here and tell you what to do with your life...casue well...its your life. But I would try to keep that shit to a minimum until all is healed in your heart. Take the kids out with just yourself. Its a real battle for them to try to get used to mom and dad not being together. Maybe you do those things with her to try and ease the kids into that state of mond. In which case thats not a horrible thing i guess. But for me, that would be emotinally tough.
AmillionHP hit it on the head though, the negativity and hate that you brew within yourself, WILL EVENTUALLY COME OUT in one way shape or form. be very careful with that. Find a release of some kind. Grab a controller and beat the shit out of some scrub and laugh while you do it. It is very important that you don talk bad bout mamma in front of the kids, to make sure they still give her the respect of being mom. You said she was a great mom to the kids, make sure that still happens. There is one thing that I figured out that I was sure to tell the new guy when I got the chance. You must use a stern voice while doing it "You fuckin better keep mamma happy, cause keeping her happy, keeps MY KIDS happy. and if that doesnt happen, you have me to answer to!"
HRD
lobo
Luminario
so...does this mean we'll get to see you at FSAK?
i find the title of this thread to be misleading. how again do you lose? it seems to me that you got a good lesson and now are gonna come out of it a better person. losing would be to have continued on without knowing this stuff.
best of luck, my friend.
i find the title of this thread to be misleading. how again do you lose? it seems to me that you got a good lesson and now are gonna come out of it a better person. losing would be to have continued on without knowing this stuff.
best of luck, my friend.
DeathInMyEyes
DIME
I'm only 17, and I've been cheated on. It hurt like hell, even if it was only 8 months. I can't imagine what you're going through. I can't say much, other than what's already been said, but good luck to you and your children.
seneca_22
[09] Warrior
HRD, I'm taking a lot of your words to heart, just based off the experience. Betrayal sucks, and you've been down that road. I'm getting out this week, and I'm going to cut off a lot of that "together" time in favor of separate times, because it's hard enough without being reminded that we're NOT together, even when we all hang out together.
Also, I know I shouldn't even care anymore, but it's driving me crazy not knowing who this guy is. She claims she's not protecting him, just that it won't solve anything, but I want to know who he is. He's a black lawyer from Bismarck, ND who stayed at the Ramada on Tuesday August 24th.
Is it illegal to ask for a hotel guest who stayed there? When I was really down in the dumps, I actually went over there and asked if my buddy mike had stayed there that night. I told them he was either from bismarck or fargo, and they found one from fargo, which turned out not to be him. I didn't feel like going back and asking again, considering the story I came up with to ask them for his name.
Anyone know how long they keep a guest list at a hotel?
I don't know, probably a fruitless search not worth the effort. When I found a card from him to her for her birthday, it was initialed MS. .... who knows.
Just going through the tough stuff and this crap has a tendency to start its cycle all over in my head at some point during each day. But I'm trying not to feel sorry for myself, and looking to move on and better myself for that one person who will someday take my ex-wifes spot, somewhere down the road.
Also, I know I shouldn't even care anymore, but it's driving me crazy not knowing who this guy is. She claims she's not protecting him, just that it won't solve anything, but I want to know who he is. He's a black lawyer from Bismarck, ND who stayed at the Ramada on Tuesday August 24th.
Is it illegal to ask for a hotel guest who stayed there? When I was really down in the dumps, I actually went over there and asked if my buddy mike had stayed there that night. I told them he was either from bismarck or fargo, and they found one from fargo, which turned out not to be him. I didn't feel like going back and asking again, considering the story I came up with to ask them for his name.
Anyone know how long they keep a guest list at a hotel?
I don't know, probably a fruitless search not worth the effort. When I found a card from him to her for her birthday, it was initialed MS. .... who knows.
Just going through the tough stuff and this crap has a tendency to start its cycle all over in my head at some point during each day. But I'm trying not to feel sorry for myself, and looking to move on and better myself for that one person who will someday take my ex-wifes spot, somewhere down the road.