Moonlight Revelation

[0VincentRayne0]

some of that is valid but they found out it was Yu because more than a couple of people saw the "unmasking" of Yu. i believe several SC members saw it as well. i can see the cover up thing happening though. that would be a more realistic approach.

nice to see you finally interacting with us again and providing input.

 

[Luneth22]

There seems to be some holes in your story

1: Its not really a big deal but It was not a war. There were two battles and a rescue mission. Not a war. More of an incident then anything.
Second part of this is that really wasn't grand war for humanity. It was a story of how Faith got her powers. Basically Ergon vs Faith and friends.


2: How did they find out it was Yu that killed those people? The only people who knew it was Yuki and everyone that sides with him. And they all could say he was a spy to assassinate Evilyn. And this incident was all underground so no world government would admit to other worldly places trying to attack Earth. Come on. Think about it. Vampires, witches and ancient folk monsters attacking a small city in the U.K? They could just say it was terrorist.

E.I Yu is free from these so called crimes.

3: Why not make him pay for his early crimes during the civil of Japan he fought in. It'll make sense that was a war and we could of killed many people that would want revenge.

That would make sense for points 1 and 2. Good input, I'll revise the bio soon.

Although for point 3, during the war that took place in 2093/2094 in Japan, they were fighting against hostile forces threatening to overcome Japan, so i.e, he did not commit any crimes.

 

[MorrowsWings]

That would make sense for points 1 and 2. Good input, I'll revise the bio soon.

Although for point 3, during the war that took place in 2093/2094 in Japan, they were fighting against hostile forces threatening to overcome Japan, so i.e, he did not commit any crimes.

But we don't know what side was Yu on during that civil war.(You never really explained that) The winners could of easily said it was a group of people trying to overthrow the Japanese government . But the other guys could said it was revolution.

Anyway there could be war veterans from it the opposing side that could of hated Yu for killing his or her comrade or family member.

You have stuff to work with to make this really good.

 

[Luneth22]

But we don't know what side was Yu on during that civil war.(You never really explained that) The winners could of easily said it was a group of people trying overthrow Japan. But the other guys could said it was revolution.

Anyway there could be war veterans from it the opposing side that could of hated Yu for killing his or her comrade or family member.

You have stuff to work with to make this really good.

Apologies if I didn't mention it to you before. Yu was still a student of the School of The Phoenix - led by Masamoto, the founder. The school itself was under the jurisdiction of the Government of Japan at the time.

The opposing side, Dark Serpent, took control of Japan for a year after defeating the Phoenix. They had impersonated the president of Japan before then, and had set plans in motion to defeat those that oppose them. Until in 2095 (2 years before the events of Celmisia), they were permanently vanquished by allied forces. I've talked to Vince about the idea of Zack Yumari being responsible for this, not sure how they would fit in yet.

Thanks again for the feedback. This is what I need to improve.

 

[0VincentRayne0]

it's very possible to work with putting Zack in since the story before Celmisia that had Zack in it was No Tomorrow and that was 5 to 6 years before Celmisia. so there's definitely some room there. any questions that need to be answered or topics that need to be discussed/clarified? now's the best time to ask since i'm watching a concert right now and am not really busy.