Jokes thread

Went hiking with my mate the other day, half way to the summit I fell, slipping a disc in my spine. He looked at me and grinned saying "I guess you could call this 'Brokeback' mountain."

"Very funny, but I haven't broken my back."

"I know, but I'm about to fuck you."
---

A couple drove down a country road, not saying a word. An earlier discussion had led to an argument, and neither would concede their position.

As they passed a barnyard of mules and pigs, the wife sarcastically asked, "Relatives of yours?"

"Yep," the husband replied. "In-laws."
---

Who else spends ages looking for the perfect scene to cum to on a porno, only to think 'Why did I fucking bother?' five seconds later?
 
Bizarrely, One Direction have presented one of their bride-to-be fans with a signed guitar.

That's a bit like getting a signed pair of socks from Oscar Pistorius.
---

I just tried to upload the highlights of Spain vs Holland to Youporn, but unfortunately they don't accept rape.
---

A German walks into a library and asks for a book on war.

The librarian replies, "No mate, you'll lose it."
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top