Jokes thread

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I don't like to label myself as 'unemployed'.

I like to think of myself as a highly trained back-up in case the entire Royal Family dies.
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I can't believe people used to think the Earth was flat.

Morons. There's hills on it and everything.
 
I love the way that people complain about non-nationals taking their jobs.

Good luck with your applications to become fruit pickers, toilet attendants and prostitutes.
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I had a lot of important things to do today.

Fuck it.

Now I have a lot of important things to do tomorrow.
 
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