The-Instigator
[01] Neophyte
Madnis and Fly has got me beat.
Let's see... what can glorious Google provide for me?! (Being unoriginal this time) XP
What happens when a Jew with an erection walks into a wall?
He breaks his nose.
A manager at a credit union hired a new blonde secretary. He showed her the ropes of the job as well as the new stores, restaurants, and hotels around the town. The next morning, as the manager was looking over his daily agenda, he noticed that the secretary was 1 hour late. He looked up the telephone number of the hotel she was currently residing and wondered what her excuse was. She answered the phone, crying that she was stuck in her hotel room. He asked why she couldn't get out. She replied: "Because there is only three doors in here... one is the closet, one is the bathroom, and one has a sign on it that says 'Do Not Disturb'".
An Irishman, a Mexican, and a blonde guy were doing construction work on a scaffolding on the 20th floor of a building. They were eating lunch and the Irishman said, "Corned beef and cabbage! If I get corned beef and cabbage one more time for lunch, I'm going to jump off this building". The Mexican opened his lunch box and exclaimed, "Burritos again! If I get burritos one more time, I'm going to jump off, too". The blonde opened up his lunch box and said, "Bologna again! If I get a bologna sandwich one more time, I'll jump as well". The next day, the Irishman opened up his lunch box, saw corned beef and cabbage, and jumped to his death. The Mexican opened his lunch box, saw a burrito, and jumped too. The blonde guy opened his lunch box, saw a bologna sandwich, and jumped also. At the men's funeral, the Irishman's wife cried, "If only I knew how much he hated corned beef and cabbage, I would of made him something different". The Mexican man's wife also cried and said, "I could of gave him enchiladas one day, and tacos the next. I never knew he hated burritos so much". As they both turned to the blonde guy's wife, she exclaimed, "Don't look at me! He makes his own lunch".
How are women and mermaids similar?
They both look like women from the waist up and they both smell like fish from the waist down.
A European tourist walks into a McDonald's in New York City and orders a beer. A New Yorker behind him taps his shoulder rapidly and yells, "They don't serve beer here, you retard!". The European looked at the New Yorker and burst out laughing. "What's so funny?!" replied the New Yorker. The European replied, "Oh nothing. I just realized that you came here for the food".
Let's see... what can glorious Google provide for me?! (Being unoriginal this time) XP
What happens when a Jew with an erection walks into a wall?
He breaks his nose.
A manager at a credit union hired a new blonde secretary. He showed her the ropes of the job as well as the new stores, restaurants, and hotels around the town. The next morning, as the manager was looking over his daily agenda, he noticed that the secretary was 1 hour late. He looked up the telephone number of the hotel she was currently residing and wondered what her excuse was. She answered the phone, crying that she was stuck in her hotel room. He asked why she couldn't get out. She replied: "Because there is only three doors in here... one is the closet, one is the bathroom, and one has a sign on it that says 'Do Not Disturb'".
An Irishman, a Mexican, and a blonde guy were doing construction work on a scaffolding on the 20th floor of a building. They were eating lunch and the Irishman said, "Corned beef and cabbage! If I get corned beef and cabbage one more time for lunch, I'm going to jump off this building". The Mexican opened his lunch box and exclaimed, "Burritos again! If I get burritos one more time, I'm going to jump off, too". The blonde opened up his lunch box and said, "Bologna again! If I get a bologna sandwich one more time, I'll jump as well". The next day, the Irishman opened up his lunch box, saw corned beef and cabbage, and jumped to his death. The Mexican opened his lunch box, saw a burrito, and jumped too. The blonde guy opened his lunch box, saw a bologna sandwich, and jumped also. At the men's funeral, the Irishman's wife cried, "If only I knew how much he hated corned beef and cabbage, I would of made him something different". The Mexican man's wife also cried and said, "I could of gave him enchiladas one day, and tacos the next. I never knew he hated burritos so much". As they both turned to the blonde guy's wife, she exclaimed, "Don't look at me! He makes his own lunch".
How are women and mermaids similar?
They both look like women from the waist up and they both smell like fish from the waist down.
A European tourist walks into a McDonald's in New York City and orders a beer. A New Yorker behind him taps his shoulder rapidly and yells, "They don't serve beer here, you retard!". The European looked at the New Yorker and burst out laughing. "What's so funny?!" replied the New Yorker. The European replied, "Oh nothing. I just realized that you came here for the food".
