How does a man get a lot of unconditional love in life?
- Thread starter Death_Emperor_X
- Start date
MONEYMUFFINS
[13] Hero
YOU ARE WILLFULLY MISSING THE POINT. EVERYTHING IS TECHNICALLY CONDITIONAL IN TERMS OF CHEMISTRY AND BIOLOGY, BUT AS A PHILOSOPHICAL CONCEPT UNDERSTOOD AMONG CONSCIOUS MINDS, UNCONDITIONAL LOVE REFERS TO SOMETHING THAT SOCIETY UNDERSTANDS AS TRUE. IT IS ABSURD TO HAVE TO SPELL OUT THE FACT THAT MOTHERS ESPECIALLY LOVE THEIR CHILDREN NO MATTER WHAT THEIR CHILDREN MIGHT DO.
I HAVE ONCE WRITTEN ABOUT THE NOTION THAT IN SOCIETY, ALL PEOPLE ARE GIVEN THE BASIC PACKAGE OF UNCONDITIONAL LOVE. THIS UNCONDITIONAL LOVE IS BASIC AND UNEXCITING BECAUSE THE TREATMENT IS UNIVERSAL. IT’S THE STOCK “HELLO, HOW ARE YOU DOING?” AND THE STOCK “I’M SORRY FOR YOUR LOSS” AND THE STOCK HANDOUTS THAT EVERYBODY GETS JUST FOR BEING PART OF THE GROUP.
PEOPLE GIVE NO FUCKS ABOUT UNCONDITIONAL LOVE. THEY ARE CONCERNED ABOUT THE PERKS THAT COME WITH CONDITIONAL LOVE. CONDITIONAL LOVE IS WHAT PEOPLE ARE TRULY MOTIVATED TO LIVE FOR. CONDITIONAL LOVE IS THE ROYAL TREATMENT, THE FIRST CLASS TREATMENT, THE SEXIEST-FUCKING-BLOWJOBS-BY-THE-HOTTEST-FUCKING-BITCHES-ON-EARTH TREATMENT. IT IS ALSO TYPICALLY A SHORT-TERM EXPERIENCE FOR MOST PEOPLE, UNLIKE UNCONDITIONAL LOVE, BECAUSE CONDITIONAL LOVE IS SO HIGHLY VALUED AND SOUGHT BY EVERYONE. IT IS EXCITING BECAUSE IT IS SCARCE. IT TRIGGERS A DEEP SENSE OF OUR PRIMAL NATURE TO ACQUIRE THE BEST REWARDS AVAILABLE TO US.
IF YOU WIN AT LIFE, YOU GET THE REWARDS AND YOU GET THE CONDITIONAL LOVE. PEOPLE STRIVE TO OFFER GREAT VALUE TO SOCIETY BECAUSE THEY UNDERSTAND HOW POWERFUL THE REWARDS CAN FEEL. BUT THIS IS ALWAYS ACHIEVED THROUGH MEANS OF EXPLOITATION! IT IS IMPOSSIBLE TO WIN WITHOUT SOMEBODY ELSE LOSING. THIS IS WHY ASSHOLES ALWAYS RUN THE FUCKING SHOW. TO DENY THAT LIFE WORKS THIS WAY WOULD BE UTTERLY OUTRAGEOUS.
BlackDragon37
[12] Conqueror
I can only speak from my experience, insights and opinions here.
Conditional love is a substitute for unconditional love. If one's sense of self depends on how others perceive them (which is for most people), then almost everything you said is correct. For how else are they gonna get love from others if they don't believe they have it in and/or deserve it for themselves?
Society's notion of what unconditional love is is very different from the experience of unconditional love. All society has on unconditional love is a mental definition, which is itself an approximation of an experience. And approximations never give the full picture - experience does. So no society values unconditional love, for no society can experience it. If they did, there'd be no societies whatsoever, for there'd be no moral, ethics and issues which define their identity. Ever heard the saying, "Where there is love, there is no law"?
Conditional love is based on the fundamental belief that being ourselves isn't good enough - that we need something more than ourselves to be recognised considered good enough and acceptable. No child in this world is born seeking conditional love. We come in just being ourselves until we find that the world doesn't value that. The world has almost no experiential point of reference for what unconditional love is, and so doesn't perceive someone from that POV. But again, that's not their responsibility. No society has the responsibility of giving unconditional love, for no society is born out of unconditional love - they're born out of conditional love. But I digress.
So being unrecognised by others for who we are (especially if they weren't recognised by others for being who they are), we as babies and toddlers and infants become uncomfortable within ourselves. We become uncomfortable with ourselves. And so we ask ourselves "What do I have to do to be noticed?" And so starts the need to manufacture acts and personalities and identities, as well as learning to manipulate ourselves (and therefore others by extension) so as to be accepted by their parents/guardian, their peers, their politicians... anything with a P, basically. :P
And from there is the quest for more money, more sexiest-fucking-blowjobs-by-the-hottest-fucking-bitches-on-Earth, more power, the perceived necessity to control, manipulate and impose upon others... it's never enough, because we're never enough. There's always something more to fill the perceptually infinite void.
To have unconditional love is to have permanent attention for being who you are regardless of the consequences, positive or negative. Unconditional love is value for being, value for existing. No society can handle that, for a society is a mental representation, and therefore an effect, of the people who live and/or participate in it.
Unconditional love requires feeling for ourselves. No society can feel, let alone feel for others. The people who participate in society can feel, but it's impossible to feel for other people. We can physically do things for each other. We can even mentally do things for each other - send a message from one person to another, or even be represented by another in a court of law. But no way we get anyone to feel for us. Feel us? Yes. Feel for us? No.
And that's why I put those two points up.
We're all born with the ability to give and receive unconditional love. It's just that realising it in ourselves requires going the opposite of the world's example, and therefore going into the unknown. Which is scary as fuck. and very painful - we find out things about ourselves we've distanced from, we covered up, we reject about ourselves. We reopen emotional wounds and dive in them. And at times it can get extremely dark. Basically, we stop persuing happiness and allow the unhappiness we've been running from (but can't, because it got us already) to impact us fully. Our attempts to reject and run from unhappiness them is the reason why conditional love exists.
Also, it takes as long as it takes for the emotional wounds to heal up. No, it won't take the rest of your life, but you will have to assume/act like it will. And pay attention to how it feels. For when it does heal itself, you will know. For your heart to heal, all it needs is your unconditional attention.
Conditional love is a substitute for unconditional love. If one's sense of self depends on how others perceive them (which is for most people), then almost everything you said is correct. For how else are they gonna get love from others if they don't believe they have it in and/or deserve it for themselves?
Society's notion of what unconditional love is is very different from the experience of unconditional love. All society has on unconditional love is a mental definition, which is itself an approximation of an experience. And approximations never give the full picture - experience does. So no society values unconditional love, for no society can experience it. If they did, there'd be no societies whatsoever, for there'd be no moral, ethics and issues which define their identity. Ever heard the saying, "Where there is love, there is no law"?
Conditional love is based on the fundamental belief that being ourselves isn't good enough - that we need something more than ourselves to be recognised considered good enough and acceptable. No child in this world is born seeking conditional love. We come in just being ourselves until we find that the world doesn't value that. The world has almost no experiential point of reference for what unconditional love is, and so doesn't perceive someone from that POV. But again, that's not their responsibility. No society has the responsibility of giving unconditional love, for no society is born out of unconditional love - they're born out of conditional love. But I digress.
So being unrecognised by others for who we are (especially if they weren't recognised by others for being who they are), we as babies and toddlers and infants become uncomfortable within ourselves. We become uncomfortable with ourselves. And so we ask ourselves "What do I have to do to be noticed?" And so starts the need to manufacture acts and personalities and identities, as well as learning to manipulate ourselves (and therefore others by extension) so as to be accepted by their parents/guardian, their peers, their politicians... anything with a P, basically. :P
And from there is the quest for more money, more sexiest-fucking-blowjobs-by-the-hottest-fucking-bitches-on-Earth, more power, the perceived necessity to control, manipulate and impose upon others... it's never enough, because we're never enough. There's always something more to fill the perceptually infinite void.
To have unconditional love is to have permanent attention for being who you are regardless of the consequences, positive or negative. Unconditional love is value for being, value for existing. No society can handle that, for a society is a mental representation, and therefore an effect, of the people who live and/or participate in it.
Unconditional love requires feeling for ourselves. No society can feel, let alone feel for others. The people who participate in society can feel, but it's impossible to feel for other people. We can physically do things for each other. We can even mentally do things for each other - send a message from one person to another, or even be represented by another in a court of law. But no way we get anyone to feel for us. Feel us? Yes. Feel for us? No.
And that's why I put those two points up.
We're all born with the ability to give and receive unconditional love. It's just that realising it in ourselves requires going the opposite of the world's example, and therefore going into the unknown. Which is scary as fuck. and very painful - we find out things about ourselves we've distanced from, we covered up, we reject about ourselves. We reopen emotional wounds and dive in them. And at times it can get extremely dark. Basically, we stop persuing happiness and allow the unhappiness we've been running from (but can't, because it got us already) to impact us fully. Our attempts to reject and run from unhappiness them is the reason why conditional love exists.
Also, it takes as long as it takes for the emotional wounds to heal up. No, it won't take the rest of your life, but you will have to assume/act like it will. And pay attention to how it feels. For when it does heal itself, you will know. For your heart to heal, all it needs is your unconditional attention.
Death_Emperor_X
[10] Knight
Looks like something you wrote.
