smilingsaint
[08] Mercenary
ff13 is possibly the most boring game i've ever played as an adult and at least as boring as the most boring games i've ever played in my life (i grew with a nes, and some nes games defied description). i realize at first that must sound like hyperbole, and if i had not been the person playing i would not have believed it myself. justification below.
for the first 5 to 7 hours you will complete every battle perfectly or near perfectly by simply hitting A every second. it will default to auto battle, auto battle will win, ussually perfectly. for five to seven hours.... for the next 10 to 15 hours the above strategy will perfectly defeat every enemy in 85 to 99 percent of all cases. i actually stopped being in the same room and went to the kitchen to cook, just tapping A every few seconds on a wireless controller and listening to hear the i win music. once i won i would push forward on the left stick and 50 to 70 percent of the time id be in a new fight, hear the stupid music and begin tapping a again. occassionally once i was done tapping a id have to navigate past some obstacle then push forward again. then begin tapping a again.
i dont mind that a game is linear. many of my favorite titles of yesteryear were on rails shooters or mostly on rails. but i need a challenge. even once you get to the pulse section, the game is still absurdly simple, i have literally never once reached a fight i didnt beat in three tries, i have died fewer than 10 times in total ( only twice if you dont count eidilon fights) and i am at what i assume is the end, finally. i am in orphan's cradle, i am not sure where to go, and i couldnt care less.
the story is deeply forgettable, the dialogue has you rolling your eyes and cringing (mom's are tough), and despite the fact that i put about 45 hours into this POS i have absolutely no interest in continuing.
id have stopped eons ago but i heard that the gran pulse part was awesome so i figured ok id tough it out. gran pulse was awesome. i did the first 30 or so optional missions. i fought giant things and explored the world a little, then continued the story and here i am at the end.
i blame americans for this game. square obviously looked at what americans like and got the wrong idea. americans like baseball, baseball is incredibly boring. americans like golf, a sport where you literally watch grass grow. americans like nascar, a sport where rednecks drive in circles 500 times. fuck you america.
for the first 5 to 7 hours you will complete every battle perfectly or near perfectly by simply hitting A every second. it will default to auto battle, auto battle will win, ussually perfectly. for five to seven hours.... for the next 10 to 15 hours the above strategy will perfectly defeat every enemy in 85 to 99 percent of all cases. i actually stopped being in the same room and went to the kitchen to cook, just tapping A every few seconds on a wireless controller and listening to hear the i win music. once i won i would push forward on the left stick and 50 to 70 percent of the time id be in a new fight, hear the stupid music and begin tapping a again. occassionally once i was done tapping a id have to navigate past some obstacle then push forward again. then begin tapping a again.
i dont mind that a game is linear. many of my favorite titles of yesteryear were on rails shooters or mostly on rails. but i need a challenge. even once you get to the pulse section, the game is still absurdly simple, i have literally never once reached a fight i didnt beat in three tries, i have died fewer than 10 times in total ( only twice if you dont count eidilon fights) and i am at what i assume is the end, finally. i am in orphan's cradle, i am not sure where to go, and i couldnt care less.
the story is deeply forgettable, the dialogue has you rolling your eyes and cringing (mom's are tough), and despite the fact that i put about 45 hours into this POS i have absolutely no interest in continuing.
id have stopped eons ago but i heard that the gran pulse part was awesome so i figured ok id tough it out. gran pulse was awesome. i did the first 30 or so optional missions. i fought giant things and explored the world a little, then continued the story and here i am at the end.
i blame americans for this game. square obviously looked at what americans like and got the wrong idea. americans like baseball, baseball is incredibly boring. americans like golf, a sport where you literally watch grass grow. americans like nascar, a sport where rednecks drive in circles 500 times. fuck you america.
