...and that's how the fight started.

[PANDA]

A man and a woman were asleep like two innocent babies. Suddenly, at 3 o'clock in the morning, a loud noise came from outside. The woman, bewildered, jumped up from the bed and yelled at the man 'Holy shit. That must be my husband!'


So the man jumped out of the bed, scared and naked, and jumped out the window. He smashed himself on the ground, ran through a thorn bush and to his car as fast as he could go. A few minutes later he returned and went up to the bedroom and screamed at the woman, 'I AM your husband!'


The woman yelled back, 'Yeah, then why were you running?'

... and that how the fight started

 

[Bamboo_Wind]

My ex girlfriend's birthday was right around the corner. Knowing that I had a bit of cash she said "honey I want something shiney that goes 0 to 200 in seconds.

I bought her a scale.

...and that's how the fight started.

Thanks for the additions Psylocide and Panda :)

 

[ReverendRedMage]

My wife sat down on the couch next to me as I was flipping channels. She asked, 'What's on TV?'

I said, 'Dust.'

And then the fight started...

 

[The-Instigator]

A few days ago, I ate a pastrami sandwich peppered with jalapenos, red chili peppers, habanero peppers, brown dijohn (sp?) mustard, wasabi, and anchovies.

The next day, at around 10 in the morning, I spent a total of a hour and 47 minutes on the john, moaning in pain and giving Jesus Christ an extra 100 middle names.

On the same day, to avoid the same situation, I instead consumed some fruit and yogurt for lunch instead.... and that's how the fight in my colon started.... again >_<.

 

[ZEDONIUS]

My ex girlfriend's birthday was right around the corner. Knowing that I had a bit of cash she said "honey I want something shiney that goes 0 to 200 in seconds.

I bought her a scale.

...and that's how the fight started.

Thanks for the additions Psylocide and Panda :)

That one is my favorite.