Infidelity, I lose!!!

It's harsh but that's how this cold world works. Even though she cheated things can be repaired between you two i've seen it many times.
 
Ahhhhh bullshit!!

You have your answers already seneca, Lets say you call CSI NY and they do a full investigation, they figure out that homedude is 100% at fault.....then what? You will be in the same fuckin boat youre in now.

The whole idea of healing and getting over something is to let it go. The damage is done, the wife did what she did for whatever reason. Is that REASON all that important, and if you find that reason is it going to make everything bakc to the way it was...NO!!

Homedude is a dick, youre wife is no better. regardless of who did or said what to who is irrelavant now. What is relevant is your daughters. Whats best for them, how to adjust them to the change with minimul discomfort...etc! I dont think you will ever know what the WHOLE truth is, and it might sound weird but, who gives a shit. This is the situation now, this is what you have to deal with.

Do whats best for you and your kids!! I dont think there is any need to get into who did what to who and then said this....bullshit!!

HRD
 
teflon2105 said:
Even though she cheated things can be repaired between you two i've seen it many times.
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I'd strongly recommend that you disregard that advice. It's not worth it.

HRD said:
Ahhhhh bullshit!!

You have your answers already seneca, Lets say you call CSI NY and they do a full investigation, they figure out that homedude is 100% at fault.....then what? You will be in the same fuckin boat youre in now.

The whole idea of healing and getting over something is to let it go. The damage is done, the wife did what she did for whatever reason. Is that REASON all that important, and if you find that reason is it going to make everything bakc to the way it was...NO!!

Homedude is a dick, youre wife is no better. regardless of who did or said what to who is irrelavant now. What is relevant is your daughters. Whats best for them, how to adjust them to the change with minimul discomfort...etc! I dont think you will ever know what the WHOLE truth is, and it might sound weird but, who gives a shit. This is the situation now, this is what you have to deal with.

Do whats best for you and your kids!! I dont think there is any need to get into who did what to who and then said this....bullshit!!

HRD
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Dave, with the 1337 post count, lol.

Anyway, he's totally right Seneca. If you dig for answers, you will still have to uncover things your wife was clearly never willing to tell you. She didn't even give you the heads up before you moved. So it stands to reason she doesn't care enough to come out with all of it just because you wanna know. She doesn't give a fuck anyway.

You know, i've seen you repeatedly comment now on how wonderful she is to the kids but actually, i would question that as well. You'll remember a few comments back that Dave said to make sure you don't insult Mom in front of the kids because it's important that they continue to respect her. This is true because the fact is that kids are adversely affected by whatever happens to their parents. You need to understand that her treating you like shit with this affair and having so little respect for you is definitely going to affect your daughters as well. Look at it this way, you moved back because the girls were tired of being away from Mom, but now because of her, they cant ever have Mom and Dad back in the same house and are consequently going to expect answers about that. What is Mommy gonna do? Blame Daddy right? She told you it was your fault so obviously she really believes that. Are your daughters going to grow up with respect for you and a proper view of Men in general? She didn't just turn her back on you man, she destroyed your family, which is a combination of you, her and your daughters by extension. Sorry to break this to you but that is not a good Mom either Seneca.
 
Ok, thanks for the blunt, but very true statements. Need to read stuff like that to keep me focused. I read it all, y'all are right.

So now we're just trying to work things out for the girls. However she's still lacking in the "respect" department as she tries to just decree what she's going to do, or what's she's doing with the girls, without any of my input. I'm trying to work with her, but that doesn't help anything.

Getting back to digging and blaming, y'all are right. It won't lead anywhere, the crap happened, and anything I find out afterwards is just more salt in the wound. It's quite and adjustment to realized I'm a single dad now, after 11 years of a relationship.

Anyone know how people freakin date anymore? Not that I'm looking to jump into anything right away, I still gotta get myself re-situated before I can even think about that. But HRD and AMillion, y'all have been great, seriously. I appreciate the honesty and bluntness, as I don't know you and you don't know me, but y'all have a nice look on the situation from an adult perspective, so again, thanks.

Alright man, if y'all got anything else to add, feel free. But I'll stop dragging this on and start moving things forward for my girls.
 
AMillionHP said:
I'd strongly recommend that you disregard that advice. It's not worth it.



Dave, with the 1337 post count, lol.

Anyway, he's totally right Seneca. If you dig for answers, you will still have to uncover things your wife was clearly never willing to tell you. She didn't even give you the heads up before you moved. So it stands to reason she doesn't care enough to come out with all of it just because you wanna know. She doesn't give a fuck anyway.

You know, i've seen you repeatedly comment now on how wonderful she is to the kids but actually, i would question that as well. You'll remember a few comments back that Dave said to make sure you don't insult Mom in front of the kids because it's important that they continue to respect her. This is true because the fact is that kids are adversely affected by whatever happens to their parents. You need to understand that her treating you like shit with this affair and having so little respect for you is definitely going to affect your daughters as well. Look at it this way, you moved back because the girls were tired of being away from Mom, but now because of her, they cant ever have Mom and Dad back in the same house and are consequently going to expect answers about that. What is Mommy gonna do? Blame Daddy right? She told you it was your fault so obviously she really believes that. Are your daughters going to grow up with respect for you and a proper view of Men in general? She didn't just turn her back on you man, she destroyed your family, which is a combination of you, her and your daughters by extension. Sorry to break this to you but that is not a good Mom either Seneca.
Click to expand...

Your right that wasn't the best advice to give.
 
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