You'll soon realize that when you do find the right girl, as I have, even if she does have sex with you every night... you will still masturbate once in awhile.
Instigator... I thought we were bros. I think you are mistaken though, some people take my brand of humor/sarcasm as offensive, where they should just A.) not get their feelings hurt because someone made a joke online or B.) Dish it back.
In fact, I'm feel great about my life and what I've done with it... how would making fun of people online give me any sort of satisfaction? That's like an after-school special, "Bullies are just mean because that makes them feel better about themselves." No, bullies are mean because you are fat and ugly.
Anyway, I just like to joke and be a smartass, no offense intended.
Also, the reason I don't like Family Guy is the "south park reason" which states, all of Family Guy's jokes are interchangeable and not important to the plot. They are all set up "You remember the time... or You think that's bad..." and if you truly watch and pay attention, it seems lazy and just not funny in the long run.
Oh yeah, I do get thirsty.