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I can't believe all these women are marching today while their men sit home and starve.

He's grieving. Prince is dead.

Fuck. HAIL HYDRA!

Damn... R.I.P. Phife Dawg.

R.I.P. Earth, Wind & Fire founder Maurice White. http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/entertainment-arts-35499149

What had you stop?

Americans: "It's 'mom' not 'mum'!" "It's 'color' not 'colour'!" "It's 'football' not 'rugby'!" "It's 'soccer' not 'football'!" "It's 'chips' not 'crisps'!" The English: "It's 'school' not 'shooting range'!" --- Caitlyn Jenner "wants to be Bruce again." Typical woman, can't make her mind up.

"Why does Donald Trump keep coming out with such ignorant, racist comments?" asked my wife. "He's trying to win an American election," I explained.

My daughter asked, "Why is the soap in the shower hanging on a rope?" I replied, "Because it saw your mother naked." --- "Do know why you've been arrested?" asked the cop. "Because my girlfriend is a bitch," I replied. "Yes," he said, as he patted her and called the RSPCA. --- Those abs on...

A man has been forced to stop selling toilet rolls, with images of The Prophet Mohammed on them, on eBay. Because he's sold out. --- Girls, instead of changing your Facebook profile photo into a rainbow in support of gay marriage being legalised in America, a much better way to show your...

Pretty soon the only place you will be able to buy a Confederate flag will be the black market. Oh the irony. --- The waitress noticed me struggling to open the mini cornflake packet in the breakfast buffet. "Just slide your finger between the flaps", she suggested. ... That finished badly...

Rachel Dolezal. Suspicions first arose when they found out she had a job. --- Following Christopher Lee's death, The Sun have written a full article about Dracula. He didn't appear in The Mirror though. --- Driving home today, my wife was boasting about how good women are at multi-tasking...

The first rule of Paedo Club is, when in public always refer to it as the Catholic Church.

R.I.P.

Sally is 16 and Amy is 14. How many years difference is there between them? 10 to 12 if you're caught with Amy. --- On the bright side, selfie sticks are also lightning rods. --- Was late to my first Fight Club last night so missed the intro rules. Still, Fight Club was brilliant and I'd...

According to scientists, super massive black holes may not exist in the universe. They clearly haven't watched inter-racial porn. --- Say what you like about deaf people. But not blind people, they can still hear you. --- Trying to understand women is like trying to smell the colour 9. ---...

A wise man once said... absolutely nothing. He let her scream and shout, and then they had 'make-up sex' afterwards. --- Look Turkey, the Germans know what they're talking about. If they say it's genocide, it's genocide. --- Ever since I've downloaded Adblock Plus, all the single girls in my...

And it seems Ryu got fucked with.