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Younger Muramasa?

Marshall Law is modelled off Bruce Lee, who according to his biopic was tormented by a demon with a triangular helmet. Triangular helmet = triangle = Illuminati. WAKE UP, SHEEPLE!!!1!!1!1!one!1

Why know about Illuminati when we can just enjoy ourselves (taking the piss outta CaptainHook)?

Jesus walks into a bar with his disciples. "Thirteen glasses of water, please," Jesus said to the barman, winking at the others.

I can't tell if CaptainHook's jokingly serious or seriously joking.

I asked my doctor if it was normal for guys to get an erection when he sticks his finger up their ass during a prostate exam. "Yes," he replied, "but your the first one to grab my wrist and ride it reverse cowgirl. " --- After my mate killed my wife in a car accident, I told him, "You'll never...

Nice try, Clooney "wedding". I know a casino heist when I see one. --- I thought Match.com was a place to arrange fights to the death, but turns out it's a website to find love. So I was close. --- The BBC is the DFS of sex abuse: Abuse now, pay in thirty years. --- "You haven't completed...

Life's not a bitch. Life's a BIATCH who keeps the villagers circling the marketplace out searching for the G-spot. Maybe she didn't feel y'all shared any similar interests or maybe you're just an asshole. ... Maybe I'm just an asshole.

The benefits of joining ISIS: * A new identity. * Intense religious indoctrination. * A virgin bride to marry. Oh, sorry... That's Scientology. --- Is that a banana in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me? Neither, it's my new iPhone. --- I told my wife that she has to buy me a...

Rihanna is rumoured to be launching a new TV talent show this Autumn. It's called The Ex Smacked 'Er. --- I'll stop at nothing to avoid using negative numbers. --- Why have no women ever been sent to the moon? It doesn't need cleaning yet.

I think female nipples are the only things that get hotter as they get cold. --- With the release of the iPhone 6, Apple have announced that they'll recycle its used products for free. Which isn't to be confused with the other thing that Apple usually does - recycling the same old idea for...

I really miss not being able to slam the phone down on people. Violently pressing the "End Call" button just doesn't quite have the same effect. --- I've overcome dyslexia and qualified as a Funeral Director. I'll give my competitors an urn for their money. --- Some call it "alcoholism". I...

Mama Mia - classic Abba song or Yorkshire kid telling his Mother he's arrived? --- When I was growing up, selfies were accidental Polaroids of our thumbs.

Fact #1: Scotland can leave the UK simply by checking a box that says "Yes". Fact #2: I have to agree to 18 pages of terms and conditions to download iOS 8. --- What's the difference between Will Smith and Scotland? Independence Day. --- An Irishman and Two British men walk into a bar...

I've got 69 problems. My girlfriend's a midget. --- Did you hear about the guy who caught his wife cheating, chopped her and her lover up into little pieces and scattered the bits all over the Yorkshire Moors? No? Good. --- I was voted off the X-Factor on my first audition. I forgot to...

I'm guessing Raidou and Shinden.

I like dating black girls. Because I don't have to meet their dads. --- Katie price has called her baby Bunny. Nice bit of meat to go with the vegetable that she already has. --- Bunny? I thought they came out of a wizard's hat, not a wizard's sleeve. --- Doctor doctor, I'm suffering from...

R.I.P Joe Sample.

I don't know why people keep getting worked up about immigration... All my neighbours are English. All the kids in the local school are English. All the local shops are owned and run by English people. I love it here in Spain. --- News: New iPhone 6 screen won't crack or scratch as easily...